Embry Imprints on a Bunny
by ApatheticWayToBe
Summary: What happens when Embry imprints on a bunny? Read on to find out. May be considered to be a crack-fic. Written for a language arts class from 6th grade for homework. My teacher loved it. K plus to be safe.


Hi. I'm Embry Call and I'm not normal. I'm a werewolf. Not a werewolf that transforms every full moon and craves human flesh. I transform whenever I feel like it (or get really, really mad) and eat regular food (just a lot more than a normal person).

Anyways, right now I'm with my friend Jake (also a werewolf). We're on patrol. We have to make sure everything is safe in La Push, our reservation. We're currently in our wolf forms.

We were trotting through the forest when we spotted a couple of hunters who were about to shoot a rabbit. I locked eyes with the terrified bunny, and suddenly my world revolved around her (at least I hope it's a girl). She's now my gravity, the only thing that keeps me tied to this planet.

Quick as lightning, I jumped in front of her and growled menacingly. The hunters' screams were echoes around the forest. It's amazing the abilities we wolves have, one of which is to scare guys with deep voices into sopranos.

'_Embry, what's wrong with you?' Jake asked._

'_I think I just imprinted on Sarah.' I _said thought (when we're in our wolf forms, we speak through our minds).

'_Sarah?'_

'_The bunny!'_

'_How do you know her name is Sarah?'_

'_Through the imprint.' _Jake started laughing (it's more like a bark than a laugh in our wolf form). _'It's not funny!' _I snapped. _'I just found my reason for existence!' _That just caused him to laugh/bark harder.

'_We have to tell the Cullens,' _he said/thought. _'Let's go.' _We changed into our human forms after we were sure the hunters were gone, dressed (our clothes don't transform with us, so we undress and tie our clothes to our legs), and I carried Sarah gently in my arms.

Let me explain who the Cullens are. They're "vegetarian" vampires, meaning they drink animal blood. They're supposed to be our enemies, but we became pretty good friends with the nine of them.

When we arrived at their mansion (I'm serious, it's a mansion), we walked into their living room to see two pianos covered in lilies, potatoes, and orange halves, and scarves hanging off the shelves.

"What happened?" Jake asked Esme Cullen.

"Edward and Alice were playing music when Edward got to one of his solos. Emmett started throwing lilies, and when he ran out he started throwing anything else he could find."

"Alice plays an instrument?" I asked.

"Yes. Haven't you ever noticed the cellos lying around here?"

"No."

"Why are you holding a rabbit?" Jasper Hale-Cullen asked. Edward Cullen started laughing when he heard the answer in my mind (he can read minds).

"She prefers the term 'bunny.' Why are you, Emmett, and Edward wearing tuxedos?"

"We just came back from seven different studios to see, according to Edward, the decade's greatest maestros. They're his heroes. So what's up with the bunny?"

"She's my imprint," I announced happily. Everybody in the room, which would be all the Cullens (Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Renesmee, and Rosalie) and Jake burst out into hysterical laughter. Emmett, Jake, and Jasper were rolling around on the floor. I was mad. "Can't any of you be happy for me?!" Sarah licked my hand, trying to calm me down.

"I'm extremely happy for you," said Alice, regaining control of herself. She pulled me over to one of the Cullens' many stereos and handed me a Chewbacca figurine and a plastic spider ring. "You left these here the last time you came over," she said, giggling. I looked at the ring and an idea popped into my head.

I set Sarah carefully onto the pale, wooden floor, got down on one knee in front of her, cleared my throat, and held out the ring. "Sarah, I know this is sudden and this ring is only a stupid little trinket, but will you marry me?"

This is when I woke up. Edward was yelling at me to wake up. "You're a heavy sleeper," he commented.

"I had such a weird dream," I said. I sat up and turned around. I screamed. A rabbit was right next to me. "Oh no! It was real!" Edward started laughing.

"No, it wasn't! I watched your dream with you and decided to scare you!"

"That was MEAN!"

"Oh, well."


End file.
